I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
