I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
