his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
