U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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