hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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