so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
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Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
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"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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