6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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