I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ketchup is God's man juice
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
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