There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
nutella sex= disaster
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
