The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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