we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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