They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
