I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
