I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
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She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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