I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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