No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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