Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
