You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Of course I have a pirate flag
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
