Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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