we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Randomize
