I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
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