help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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