we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize