She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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