Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
