its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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