i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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