If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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