So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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