So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
