I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
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