No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
