No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
