Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize