walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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