i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
