Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
