I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
