Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
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I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
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you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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