Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
