So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
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