HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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