Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
