My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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