Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Please, let me fuck your mom
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
