why didn't you poke me back
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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