I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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