I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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