did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
