I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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