I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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