Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(727): View more from Florida

Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?

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(480): View more from Arizona

Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."

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(480): View more from Arizona

Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?

(774): View more from Massachusetts

Someone just got laid.

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(310): View more from California

what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?

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(515): View more from Iowa

I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.

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(209): View more from California

I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.

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(470): View more from Georgia

You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.

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(417): View more from Missouri

Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.

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