I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
