He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
