Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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