once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
