I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
