I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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