you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
