you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Hippo gnu deer
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
