That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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