I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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