Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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