WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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